I am not afraid to walk alone. I am not afraid to stand alone. Alone is where I found myself. At a very young age, I quickly learned to be independent. I learned that the best encouragement I could ever receive are the ones that I give myself. I learned that if I wanted to achieve anything in life that believing in myself and hard work would get me there. However, it was not easy to focus on anything let alone me or my dreams. I had needy people weighing me down left and right with their problems – smothering me beneath the weight of their baggage. Unhealthy relationships can suck the energy and life right out of you. It causes stress that brings with it a long list of complications – headaches, memory loss and high blood pressure to name a few.
I am slowly restoring my life back to a healthy place. I am creating a life of happiness and epic memories. I am surrounding myself with people and doing things that make me feel alive. I shared a little about the needy people in my life and how it took a toll on me in “my story” that I think is worth a read if you need a little encouragement to walk away from a toxic relationship so you can breathe again. I had to remind myself that I am responsible for Tiffany. I cannot blame anyone for my restless nights and headaches when I allow people to dump their baggage out on me time after time. I learned the difference between helping and enabling – the hard way but I learned. I learned that it is okay to say NO and that you will never truly be happy until you do. I told myself that when I am lying on my sickbed or deathbed that I did not want to be lying there with regrets of things I did not do. That I did not want my thoughts to be I could have, I should have, I wanted to, but I did not because I allowed people to hold me back. I allowed people to cause me to lose focus, I allowed people to discourage me, I allowed people to smother me with their baggage, and I allowed people to hinder me another year! Can you imagine how sad you would be lying there with, those thoughts?
When I started putting Tiffany first, I struggled big time! I got use to helping (enabling) people that I felt guilty telling them no. I felt guilty when I heard their sad voice whimper on the other line. I felt guilty when I saw their eyes welled up with tears. I felt guilty when they stormed away from me in frustration. I felt guilty when I let them ring my doorbell to death. However, I knew that I was only enabling them, and it had to stop that I was NOT responsible for them. That if I could work and provide for myself and family so could they. That if I can learn to be a good steward of my finances so could they. But, why should they? They had sweet Tiff to lean on. They had my pocketbook opened to their needs. They had bungee cords strapped to my shoulders to hoist themselves up and hang out there as long as they desired. They had my heart wrapped around their fingers. They had my hands to wipe their tears away. They had me as a registered guest at their pity party. I stood firm in my quest for happiness and freedom setting boundaries every step of the way, and it quickly yielded good returns, and my health is on the up. Sound sleep, migraines vanished, and stress level dropped dramatically – almost none existent now. You say what!
Letting go and starting something new can be very challenging especially when it is the start of self-care. I challenge you to list out the top three most important things in your life and allow that to be your driving force and focus on making a healthier and happier lifestyle for yourself. For me its God, my happiness, and then my babies – if I am happy they are happy! When you start eliminating and practicing self-care, not everyone is going to be happy for you. You will get some stiff resistance and little to no encouragement, but you have to be okay with that. You know what is best for you and it is up to you to make your dreams come to life this is your quest for finding happiness and freedom not anyone else. I have had to deal with more envy and jealousy than I can count which use to be hard but now I shake the dust off my heels and preserve on!
I stay in remembrance of what is most important to me, and that keeps me focus and encouraged. As long as I believe in Tiffany that is all that matters. The best encouragement you can ever receive are the ones you give yourselves. You know what you need, and you know what you present yourself is genuine and sincere. Set your goals, grind in silence and enjoy a happier and healthier life – your future self will thank you. If someone is not well that you’re happy you may need to reevaluate the relationship examine it in its entirety to see if it is truly healthy or not. You may be shocked at what you unravel but be okay with letting go or walking away for a season. I know this is not my typical post, but I had to share what was on my heart. I read your emails and listen to your stories – thank you for confiding in me I do hope that you find inspiration, encouragement, and hope in reading this post. I hope you take a chance and believe in yourself. You are confident, fabulous and can do anything you set your mind too! Live your life the way you want to and follow your dreams!
“I believe in me today, tomorrow and forever.”